Making a Change
We need to be able to make long term sustainable changes. Often if we think of the things that have helped previously to keep us resilient and strong when changes have happened to us then we can draw on these strengths when we need to deal with future problems.
If we build on these strengths we are a lot more emotionally resilient to changes in our lives. We need to make changes to build on these strengths. If we just stayed the same and didn’t make changes then we would just do the same thing over and over.
“If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got.”
There are some steps you can follow to help you make a successful change.
Let’s think about something you would like to change to improve your wellbeing and emotional resilience.
Step 1: Write down what you want to change
We need to know what we are changing to ensure we have something to work on. It doesn’t need to be to specific as this might be something we need to do to make the change when we come to problem solve it.Step 2: What do you need to know about the change?
This may include researching things or finding things out for example if you wanted to improve your physical fitness you may need to research gyms or exercise classes that are available to you in your area.
Step 3: What we might need to help make the change?
This might be physical things you might need or it might be people to help you
Step 4: Why do we want to change?
This is really important because without reason we are unlikely to give it a go. Even if this reason is as simple as its worth a shot! We need to have the motivation to make a change and a strong why?
The final thing to consider is – is it the right time to make the change?
Do you have the right motivation and resources to be able to make the change at this time? We need to think about the urgency of some changes over others. Making small changes can often add up to big changes overall.
The above is based on COM-b a behavioural change model where we look at things we need to know about the change, opportunities we have and the motivation we have. This helps us to consider and make long term changes rather than short term non sustainable ones (think back to lesson 1 about short term fixes).
The more we understand about why we want to change the more likely we are to make good long-term changes that last. Otherwise we tend to try things and if they fail our wellbeing is affected.