Understand behaviour as communication
Children who are upset may act out in anger to signal that something is
wrong. Those who have faced stressful or traumatic events might have a heightened fight-or-flight response to everyday situations. Often, anger is just the ‘tip of the iceberg,’ with deeper, less visible issues lying beneath the surface.
Setting Boundaries Tips
- Use positive and direct language- “please clean up” instead of “don’t make a mess.”
- Give choice- provide two choices to help decision making without overwhelming.
- Distract away from unwanted behaviour and use positive reinforcement for good behaviour.
- Provide appropriate consequences.
- Pick your battles.
- Be consistent!
Anger is an emotion that tends to be easy to see. However anger is often just the tip of the iceberg. Other emotions may be hidden beneath the surface.
It can be helpful to try and workout why your child is behaving in a certain way, one way of doing this is reflect on a recent example of anger. Once we understand the reasons for behaviour, we can choose how best to respond.